I honestly can't even explain to you what happened today. Today I left work crying and just so we are clear-I don't cry so easily. I felt like stretch Armstrong today, being pulled in 1000000 different directions. I had to multitask more than you could believe. I don't even know how I made it through the day. We are so understaffed. I have no clue how we are still functioning as a company. Thank goodness for all the nurses and staff we do have. This week we pretty much do not have any clinical supervision. Tomorrow we will find out more about the clinical lead and what her doctor says. The other one is on vacation. There's so much wrong with the clinic that could easily be fixed but nobody has the balls to stand up to people and correct the action. Today, I spoke to the practice manager. I explained that home girl in the back with me refuses to go to the floor to work. I would be fired if I refused to do my work. I told her that the week leading up to surgery for my cancer, I would not be allowed sick children so I wouldn't get sick. I told her that I would need to be in the back but that I did not know what to do since she wouldn't go to the floor. She LITERALLY looked at me and told me, "oh you will be ok. Wear a mask." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! As much as I do for that place. I take on so much and do so many different jobs because I want to make sure everyone is OK. Patients, parents, and staff. That's where my heart gets me in trouble. To do so much and to be slapped in the face like that, I am just mind blown. No empathy for anybody. That's not setting well with me. You aren't going to make her do what is in her job description, she has not other tasks other than answering the phones, and gets paid more than me even though I do a shit ton more. How is that fair? Sorry, but I am pretty pissed and hurt by this. I know it probably sounds silly but man if you all only knew what I put into this company. I give of me then I actually have. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally spent when I get in my car to leave. I work when not on the clock because I have vaccine reps and etc reaching out to me. Today as a whole, I realized how much some of the upper management really don't give a rats ass about anyone, as long as they don't have to do anything extra. Totally not team players. That's not how upper management in a small private clinic should be. I did go to one of the partners and was able to chat a little bit. Each day seems like more and more bullshit. Sorry for venting but this is just a PIECE of what happened today. Adulting sucks. Let's see what tomorrow holds SMH! 

I know I haven't posted the past several days. Work was a bit crazy because we have no staff. Wednesday I started getting one hell of a headache while I was at work. My mom and even people at work were like, "you look terrible." Don't you love all the sweet talk? I know I sure do. LOL. So Thursday I ended up calling out of work because I could barely sit up without the whole room spinning and the pressure in my head was intense. I guess all that hot air up in my head decided it wanted to expand or something. I ended up sleeping almost all day. That literally NEVER happens. Not even when I have the flu or something. So I ended up calling out Friday too. UGH there goes my PTO but I could barely function. Nothing was helping. I was afraid it was my new long acting insulin so I didn't take it Wednesday or Thursday night. I guess it wasn't that. Thursday was Grandparents and special friends day at my son's school. This is his favorite activity every year. All the grandparents and great-grandparents go. Ashton usually always goes but this year little Miss Oaklynn went too. I don't get to go because he says that I am not a grandparent or a special friend HA. Thankfully, I didn't feel well so I got to stay home anyways. Saturday, my work put on "Kids health and safety day" behind the public library on Williamson Road. I had pledged to be there and I was going to make sure I was there. So after taking Sierra to work, I went straight there to help set up. Thankfully this year I was able to be under a tent. I took medication and prayed it would help while I was there. The morning felt amazing but the afternoon was roasting. I'm too fat for that heat and shit. I was sweating in ALL the crevices. I did get to see a friend that I hadn't seen since high school and that was an amazing blast from the past. I got to leave the event at 2 PM and was hurting from all the standing and walking around. I realized how old I was HAHA. My hips felt like if someone flicked them the damn things would just pop right off my body. I got home and got to sit down for an hour then had to pick up Sierra from work. Once I got home, my mom texted me and asked if we wanted to ride an hour away to Dublin and go to Fazoli's. I will NEVER say no to Fazolis. I miss it being in Salem so much. Wake up Sunday morning and take Sierra to work. When I get back home, my mom decides she wants to go about 30-40 minutes away to the Sunflower Farm. So we threw clothes on and walked over to get in my mom's car. We went to the sunflower farm and it was beautiful but really hot. We went on a hayride, which is my favorite and Tractor's too. My head and back of my neck got sunburned, dang it. My mom's friend made her a cake that was hilarious since her birthday is tomorrow. I told my brother about it and him and one of my niece's came too. Mom had NO idea so that was ALOT of fun. After getting Sierra from work, I did so many errands and then made sure I got her back home in time to call the Ms. Sherrie for her session. It's been a crazy week. I am sure I left stuff out but getting old sucks ass. This week starts with my mom's birthday. Tuesday mom is driving me to UVA to have a swallow study. Apparently, I have to have this before I can see the Oncology Surgeon. I now don't see them until the 26th. I hope to have a plan that day because if not, I will go insane. Work will be nuts this week too. UGH send help! Anyways, hopefully this week I will be able to post more of the BS that has happened in my adult life. My school work seems to be pretty simple this week. If you have anything you specifically want me to talk about or anything like that, please feel free to let me know. BYES!!

When I turned 18, it was a little different than most people. I was 6 months pregnant with my daughter. I turned 18 on 6/6/06. Yea that should have given it away that it was gonna be one of those days LOL. The very next day I found out I was pregnant with a girl. That was super exciting because there wasn't a girl born in my house since me. My 2 younger brothers were WILD and hyper as can be. The saying "boys will be boys" was a true statement living in my house. So knowing I was having a girl was a breath of fresh air. The day after that, 6/8, I graduated high school. I like to give Sierra ALOT of crap recently because she walked across that stage with me and then had to go back and do it again in May of 2025 for herself. There was so much just flat out shit that surrounded the rest of my pregnancy from there. Back then McDonald's McDoubles and sweet teas were actually $1.00. Those were the days man! I tore them up while pregnant. Before getting pregnant I was a typical girl, "OMG I am sooooo fat." Little did I know- I would be sitting here at 37 and PRAYING to the Lord above to give me that body back. I'm still waiting for that prayer to be answered but if I have learned anything from the Bible- It's all in God's time......So here I am.....waiting.....and even if it doesn't get answered until I am 60----I'll be the hottest chick on the Dementia unit!! Yes, I will be wearing sweatpants that say "JUICY" across my ass.